Greetings

Greetings! 

It's been a while. A very long while.  Many trials, many joys, many near misses and a few hits since my last post.  

This, however, has been a year of hits, mostly. The animals, the property, family, friends, and at times, our spirit.

As for the hits, we felt a big one in February when my dad left this Earth for parts as yet unknown. I believe I heard his voice at the moment of his death telling me that he'd see me on the other side. On the other side of what, I wondered.  I'm still wondering. I've spent a great deal of my time since childhood wondering. Then it occurred to me that if he could say goodbye in a way that I could hear and understand, then why can't he tell me more. Why can't he tell me what, where, when, and why. I honestly don't think his voice was a hallucination. The timing was too precise. I didn't know he had passed until a few moments after I heard him. I don't question the experience, but I wonder why he can't tell me more. I guess that's just the way it is--on the other side.

He was an honest man--my dad. He measured his value and worth by the success of his children and by his ability to leave something for his kids. Unfortunately for him, both of these values took a large toll on his health and on his ability to care for himself in the latter years. I still admire his conviction, though. He knew what his life was all about. He had decided early on what his responsibilities were and how he would fulfill his obligations. 

Many times I have wondered how he did all of the things he did. How he stayed focused and committed to his goals, to his responsibilities, to his values, to the life he created for himself. I'm both amazed and sad that he spent so much of his time and energy working--at two jobs and at home. Even vacations were work for him and mom. I often feel sad for him that he must have been dog-ass tired for most of his life. But, he never quit. He never said, "I can't do it anymore". He stayed the course, no matter what. 

His was not a glamorous life, nor a fun life, nor a very diverse life, but a life well lived--by all the measures that count--his.  My husband recently said that my dad was the most honorable person he's ever known. Pat knows a lot of people, so to say that means a great deal. It meant a great deal to me; so did my dad. And so it is.